Their is a sense of hopelessness in me, a feeling, a realization. It surrounds me like a container, a cage. Makes me feel like I’m in a Ghetto, surrounded by helplessness and sorrow. No escape, no hope, no joy, no love, no help, no Life.
It keeps me away from all joys, from my own life, from my own self. It surrounds me, reminding me of all my sorrows, my mistakes and my regrets. It never lets me see life in a different way, to experience it in the correct manner, it's preventing me from living my own life.
It tortures me from within, never giving a moment's rest.It acts as a catalyst in chaos for me. It makes sure that i fall and crumble to dust. I feel as though it's a living entity preventing me, almost physically, to reach out to all the love and joys of life.
It has trapped me within itself and will never let me escape. It will always hurt me, break me, and will not stop until I die and succumb to its pressures. But my inner hope, my spirit, wont crumble so soon. I’m a fighter, and will fight till the end. I don’t care if I win or lose, but I wont die out of utter lack of hope, love and support. This hope gives me strength to continue my struggle for escape from this Ghetto.......
~k~
Friday, December 12, 2008
Pessimist Vs. Optimists
I wonder why people actually fear negativity. We survive with the good as well as the bad. Even the pessimists survive, and as a matter of fact they do quite well in life, sometimes better than optimists! Although we cannot judge anyone, as every individual is different, but still there is a raging war between the optimists and the pessimists.
The optimists are a stubborn lot, they force there "positive energy" on the pessimists. Whereas the pessimists live and die with their "negative energy" and most of times without regret as well. On a personal level, I am a pessimist and I have absolutely no problems with that. And I hate it when optimistic people come to me and preach me!
I believe that my attitude and beliefs should be respected, but I am aware of the fact that this is not possible. Your fellow beings around you are always ready to contradict you, especially on your pessimist attitude. Usually the reason behind this is their concern for you, but sometimes they just can't bear your individualistic thinking. Your individuality nags them, if they are optimistic then they want you to be optimistic as well. And to achieve that, they will run after your lives like a Bull.
The pessimists usually don't bother about changing anyone else's attitude. They are either happy with themselves or else are mere victims of pessimism. We, the pessimists see life differently, but are we not living as well??...
Are we not enjoying our lives??.....you see pessimists all around you, healthy and sound....then I wonder why optimists run behind you, as though there ass is on fire!!...
~k~
Troubling Waters: Part II
Those dark troubling waters not only surround me, but pull me down when they want to. It weighs me down sometimes, panics me, scares me. Sometimes it allows me a dip, and sometimes confines me in itself for so long. Its weeds, its hands, pull me down, and keep me there till I resign, till I am exhausted.
Its weeds stick to me, even when I escape from the water. These weeds are the reminders of the unsolved and remaining troubles and problems.
While I struggle, this well allows me some invaluable experiences, as well as a few joys. But it never lets me out.
The edges of the well act like breaks and freedom, but it never allows me to escape. It’s always ready to engulf me, to make me suffer, to weigh me down, to confine me to itself. It is obsessed with me, and not ready to part with me yet.
This well will never dry up, whatever prolonged drought follows outside. It will never leave its inmate thirsty. It will always be ready with its murky and dark surroundings, awaiting me, like a patient hunter waiting for its prey to walk into his trap. It will do everything in its power to keep me down there, wet, tired and struggling. And I would remain there, always trying to escape, struggling like ever before.
This struggle may never end, nor will it continue forever. It allows me to some pleasures and joys from time-to-time, but is ready to plunge me in itself almost immediately afterwards.
People find themselves in trouble due to different reasons, some walk into it. But I remain in it. It is always there, knocking on my door. Its like a nosy neighbor butting in at the wrong time , not too ready to leave.
So I remain here, in this well, awaiting my next escape……
~k~
Its weeds stick to me, even when I escape from the water. These weeds are the reminders of the unsolved and remaining troubles and problems.
While I struggle, this well allows me some invaluable experiences, as well as a few joys. But it never lets me out.
The edges of the well act like breaks and freedom, but it never allows me to escape. It’s always ready to engulf me, to make me suffer, to weigh me down, to confine me to itself. It is obsessed with me, and not ready to part with me yet.
This well will never dry up, whatever prolonged drought follows outside. It will never leave its inmate thirsty. It will always be ready with its murky and dark surroundings, awaiting me, like a patient hunter waiting for its prey to walk into his trap. It will do everything in its power to keep me down there, wet, tired and struggling. And I would remain there, always trying to escape, struggling like ever before.
This struggle may never end, nor will it continue forever. It allows me to some pleasures and joys from time-to-time, but is ready to plunge me in itself almost immediately afterwards.
People find themselves in trouble due to different reasons, some walk into it. But I remain in it. It is always there, knocking on my door. Its like a nosy neighbor butting in at the wrong time , not too ready to leave.
So I remain here, in this well, awaiting my next escape……
~k~
Thursday, December 11, 2008
THE TROUBLING WATERS :THE WELL OF TROUBLES
I feel like I am in a well of troubles .Whenever I get out of one, and am almost on the edge of the well, I drop down again. Deep into the darkness, down the long way which I have so many times traveled before. I reach back in those troubling waters, where I struggle like ever before, but getting gifted with new experiences.
But on the contrary, it ends up weakening me too. I almost feel that my well of troubles has a trap at its exit. I cannot ever escape from it. I slip, I slide, I fall and then get lost in that dark murky water, unsure of my next successful escape from it, wondering of its consequences, its effects. And I peacefully sink back in it, ready to struggle again. One day, I might peacefully sink in it, drowning my life, my sorrows, my hopes, my dreams and myself.
The musty well isn’t that good a place to hang out, you know. Though its edges sure give me a few good moments, but soon to be ended. And then again I am engulfed by the darkness of the well and its Troubling waters…..
~k~
But on the contrary, it ends up weakening me too. I almost feel that my well of troubles has a trap at its exit. I cannot ever escape from it. I slip, I slide, I fall and then get lost in that dark murky water, unsure of my next successful escape from it, wondering of its consequences, its effects. And I peacefully sink back in it, ready to struggle again. One day, I might peacefully sink in it, drowning my life, my sorrows, my hopes, my dreams and myself.
The musty well isn’t that good a place to hang out, you know. Though its edges sure give me a few good moments, but soon to be ended. And then again I am engulfed by the darkness of the well and its Troubling waters…..
~k~
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