LoOpHoLe

A  pin prick,
All that was required
Was a pin prick,
To break the ice
Underneath which was stashed
All my tears.
The glass was full already,
On the brink of bursting
And all it needed was a pin prick
To break it n let all tears loose.
They flow like a river today
Tasting freedom after ages.
Out they pour, and mix with blood,
Which flows from the cuts I made,
Bringing me back to where I had been
Months back fighting myself and reality.
It’s no end, nor the beginning,
To anything,
Nor will it ever be.
It is...
Merely a loophole, which I’ll walk forever.

~k~

Freedom broadway

            

Creeping forest, trees lying low

It’s calling out to you, but

Stabbing and scratching when you come near.

Its shady arms engulfing you,

Surrounding you, succumbing you.

A net, a trap to digress you from your path

And keep you here, forever m’dear.

It’s foggy lanes, trippy paths,

Keep looking down, don’t fall in their trap.

All you need are your stealthy steps

Which won’t tremble and knees won’t buckle.

Keep your eyes low, boy! Keep your eyes low.

Don’t let them enchant you

And keep you for themselves.

Keep going ahead, keep walking don’t stop!

Or you’ll be left back

And made to wander among these woods.

Lost and miserable

To the point of hallucination

Where, you will be left with dreams

To freedom.

~k~

Those Three Words

The three words, supposedly magical,

The entrance to fairy tale worlds,

Dreams, fantasies and self ecstacy

Where the story starts from words and stares,

Continues to emotional sagas.

Where promises are made, and lifelong

Unwritten deals created

To fool yourself with invisible charms

Which, in your wine of love

Forgets practical life and rational decision.

Where love for our peers suddenly vanishes

And you believe one love is all you need.

The love in your heart

Sprouts chicken wings on your back

And makes you jump in your pool,

Of expectations and imaginary love predictions,

Your self-made future love story,

N your “happy ever-afters”.

You don’t fly but fall head-on,

Into the marshy lands where you crash land

Into reality.

Cry yourself to death

For falling in love and inviting yourself,

To hell.

~k~

My Smelly Pig

Why to frown, stumble and drown? When,

Shrewd personalities speak gibberish to me.

What’s gibberish is what I do not want to hear,

The faecal matter coming out of unintelligent mouths,

All that I have and will always avoid.

But these smelly pigs keep running about

With their stench over powering all.

Oink-ing and gawking, attention seekers,

And all they want is people to know

They exist,

Show their acts of utter stupidity,

Be loud and cranky to show they don’t care,

Where as all they want, is to grab eyeballs

To let people know that you want them to care.

I see it all, I see you do it,

I know your lairs, I see your stares

Under your cover I know you care.

My smelly pig, just don’t give me your shit,

I’m over pigs like you.

There’s one in ten everywhere I go

Who speak gibberish,

That passes me by, and at least

Gives me a smile.

~k~

Oh Baby, Yeah Baby

Oh Baby, Yeah Baby

You make me cry you make me smile

You’re the twinkle in my eye

I giggle when I think of you,

And blush a shade of tomato red

When you look across the room and send me a flying kiss.

When you look into my eyes and take me into another world,

And your touch caresses my feelings

Oh baby yeah baby,

Stay with me and we will walk our steps together.

your my drug, my intoxication

the weed I get high on

and the rum that gives me a hit

you’re the rhythm of my life

whose beat matches my heartbeat

oh baby, yeah baby

stay with me like this

and we’ll rock the world together.

I kept on dreaming, and smiling to myself

Opened my eyes and found nothing

Heartbroken, I looked back and witnessed my dream come true

Where I stand now is the afterglow

Of the broken mirrors of the past,

Where my love was true,

And now all that’s left are remnants, of lost time

Another corpse added in the cemetery of my heart.

~k~

Love Blind

A lined faces shows extreme experience??

A heavy paunch, a hard working life??

A young soul, always shallow??

On the crust falls the shadow of your eye,

You perceive, you think whatever you like

But then is it always true?

For all you may know

The second look might change the lies.

Though mature, experienced and sweet

Was what they thought of me

Yet, a nincompoop I had always been

Senseless, stupid and gullible,

Who would run toward wherever she found love

A parasite, with a never ending hunger,

For love, care and affection

And that was where the opportunists cam,

Gave me their poison mixed with fake love

And i thanked my stars for

Blessing me with angels

But my eyes wouldn’t open

And I’ll hide in a nutshell

Too scared to face reality

And fight off my insecurities.

I wasn’t strong, just tolerant

‘cos I let the blood flow, tears flood my eyes

And maybe one day,

I’ll become a whore

And be reduced to a slave,

For what I thought was love

And let myself be betrayed.

~k~

Laugh away the tears

For a laugh, we all come forward,

The one who jeers at you

Does it with all his heart

Mean or careless fun

It makes you cry anyways,

For him it’s fun, just another reason to laugh

And you just another victim to crush.

For all, he’s the center of attention

The brave one; the fearless.

And yet for you he is mean,

The bully who’s born just to hurt you

And make you feel small for all.

You run away, sobbing

Cursing with all your might,

Wishing he would just die, and later wishing yourself to die.

Don’t waste your tears honey, nor your might

All you need to do is,

Laugh along, like the rest of us

And none will be small.

Soon you’ll see, there’s no right or wrong

It was just that insecure you, who wouldn’t let you laugh.

~k~

Misunderstood

Stuck in a world of confusion and collision
Feelings in a mess, a state of unrest
Your yes is a yes, mine is a no
My no is a yes
And I get stuck in the end

My words, like unending ropes
Try to make sense
But you turn them around, every time
And make loopholes out of them

At times it’s not me who’s confused,
It’s not always me who’s wrong
I make sense all the time,
Maybe sometimes only to myself
But then it’s you I expect to hold my hand
For I believe that you’re my friend,
And try to understand,
That it’s not always me who’s wrong
But I am, all the time, just simply
Misunderstood.

~k~

A Heartbroken Mess?

A clean page, my favorite pen
Rolled up sleeves, a comfortable chair,
I sat back and prepared myself
To write a heartbreak poem
Where my Cinderella story
Would be crushed to sand
And I’ll be left,
In a mess of tears
With slit veins, and broken heart.
Where my eyes would be empty,
My tongue in a never-ending
State of muteness,
As if paralyzed by my loss
And the pain my lover gave

A few lines later, my mind paused
My hands still,
And just then it clicked..
Was I also a heartbroken mess
Like many around and before me?
Or was I the one who will kick my pain
Aside and walk away with my head high...?

I remembered I always wanted to play soccer...I like to Kickass...

~k~

Losing it

Confused in the myth,
Of right and wrong,
A hurricane of thoughts, emotions, memories,
Make me cry..
Make me want to die...
A small action,
Triggers an earthquake in the mind
And my whole world falls apart...
The strength I have, the walls I built...
My pillars of sanity,
All shake at the base...
And threaten to fall down..
And break me yet again...
To prove that i was nothing in the end...
My life was meaningless,
And i was just a noisy pain in the neck...
Who is, was, and never will be worth anything...
Not to herself nor to anybody else..

I hold on to broken loose threads..
With the lost hope to gather myself and not fall apart...
I’m tying the threads...holding the beads..
On my last shreds of sanity..
To come back together,
Form a mass of flesh n bone,
With no feelings to hurt...n no love to crave..
Just a lifeless statue..
Kept aside to gaze.

~k~

Walking down the street
Pale skinned, shaking limbs
N with a haunted look in the eyes
Which repeatedly playback,
On the memories left behind...
Lost in the whirlwind of time,
Crushed by emotions and confusion,
The memories, which come back yet again...
To thaw at the wounds that were now left behind..
Open and bleeding...
The only difference it made..
Was to make me more oblivious to pain...


~k~

Black n White

Simmer simmer goes the fire
Come burn it all
Up and up it soars above
Come lets burn your heart

Shadow n light, black and white
Splits you up in half
Angels n demons,
One good one evil
Come choose for all you want.

Squinted eyes, dark and painted,
Smirking lips, soot like coated
Tattooed face n hands,
Deep down the physical scars
Are dried tears that wept in vain,
Pain scoured through blood
Powered by hate n sorrow
Inside a weak n frail being
Insecure and stuck deep,
A physical show, all glitter and fake
Will shatter once you poke.
Shine n’ rise, scream n’ bite
The betrayer will be your eyes.

Sparkling eyes, open wide
A natural n’ winsome smile,
Simplicity, a style,
And a pure heart to show
Innocent as ever, a open book for all
This is what you want to be
And this is what you want.

Shadow and light, black n’ white
This is all that was
Split up in half.
Angels n demons,
One good one evil,
Come choose for all you want.

~k~

Gates opened to a wall

The existence of the path is known
So is the proof.
We’ve seen it,
And prepare for our journey,
We know it,
And we plan ahead,
But there’s a gate, an entry to it,
It accepts and rejects,
Throws some about,
And swings the rest,
An attraction, a desire, dreams it provokes
A possibility to a height,
Reached never before.
You work rentlessly, speedily,
All through the way,
Every step you carefully make,
Do your utterly best,
On the last day, counting off the minutes
Just as the deadline looms
You suddenly remember
The last thread you left unsewn,
The main link, and crux of it all.
Half work done, you gave what you had
Hopes crushed, heart guilt ridden
And that was when, the doors opened...
..opened to a wall..


~k~

A smile

I felt a closeness beside me,
And a fragrance drifted past,
The sweet fragrance that I never forgot.
Felt a soft hand running through my hair,
As though feeling it’s smoothness n blessing it more
It patted my hand so softly n slowly
Felt the world had stopped all around me.
Felt surrounded by love and comfort,
Like covered with feathers of bliss.

A soft kiss on the forehead,
N a sweet voice calling my name.
I opened my eyes to see a smiling face,
I couldn’t see who it was, but
All I saw was the sweet smile
All I smelt was a delightful fragrance
And all I felt was all I wanted.

The feeling of being loved
And the belief that I was wanted
Was all that I wanted to feel at the beginning of my day
A day when I would wake up with a smile
A smile straight from my heart
A day which would be alright
And a day where I knew I’d make things right.
To wake up with the confidence
That I could do all that I wished
And to have the courage to
Make it through all the shit
To just have calm at least for once in a day.

A crash, a shout, a scream n a kick
Chaos all around, and a rush of adrenaline
A shock and a jolt to come to my senses
Swollen eyes and an aching head
A frown on the face n abusing lips

I looked around and realized it was just a dream
A dream I longed for since I was a kid
A dream, a desire, a wish for some peace
A morning when I would wake to peace
A morning when I would wake up to a smile
A morning I knew was somewhere out there
A smile that I know would come one day
And peace that I knew would come one day
A smile…all I wished for was a smile…
Just that one sweet smile in the morning
That would wake me and make things alright.

~k~

water beauties

Glide glide, wriggle wriggle

Once here, now there

Cutting through the water

Zoom in here, zoom out there

She swims in groups,

One and each, all shy queens,

Red and grey, all pink and greens,

You think one, you find all

Glimmer treasures they are,

Just for the eyes, these beauties of nature

Glide about in all shapes and sizes,

If at all, they help us keep our earth alive

Harmless creatures that now are forming part

Of pleasures in our life.

~k~

RoAd RaGe

Sunny day, scorching bright
Dotted lane, passing by

A turn, a skid
A thud, a smash, a crash

You did, not I
But for him it’s you who lies

Boiling red faces,
Words like firing guns
A push here, now a slap
Here goes another fight

Road rage they say it is…
Not mistakes of men
But just a way
To vent their own vexation…


~k~

My ‘They’ and ‘I’

In all our lives
There’s a ‘me’ and ‘you’ ,
And apart from that
There’s an ‘us’ and ‘them’
And in all that mess
There’s a ‘they’ and ‘I’.

We all our different
We all are one
If you are my ‘they’
So the same I’m yours.

Together we stay, yet farther away
Under a roof
But miles away.
To me there’s just an ‘I’ and ‘they’
Where ‘they’ never gave a pint of care.

They said I cry and weep a lot
But never asked why it was,
They saw the tears and jested me.
They saw the frown, and heard my sob.
But did they come and help a bit?
A shoulder maybe, a sweet word to me
Would’ve given joy to me,
But know that it will never be so.
And I know it never was and will be.

They said I’m stupid, immature as one could be,
Yet none would come and guide me.
Take my hand and show me about
Teach me help me, and not throw me about.
All they do is find the faults
Name it, list it and fling it off.
No reason they got, no justification
And all they do is show me I’m wrong.

They said I’m arrogant, naïve I am,
And said it because they thought so.
What they said hid what they thought,
‘cause the very next day they would deny it all.
Was it spur of the moment
Or their secret hate against me?
Was it their opinion
Or just a tool to break me.

They said it all
They did it all,
But in all what they did,
It was me who lost.
What ‘I’ said got thrown about.
In all my life, who ever I met
Not even one I could find whom I thought was correct
Was it always me whose wrong,
Or was it them?

I gave my love, my time, my care,
For me I got nothing to spare.
What came back was nothing but spite
My love forgotten, ignored and trodden.
So easy was it to forget our joy,
The promises we shared
And all our cares?
Yet in all I came out wrong,
My decisions and actions
As always wrong.

They said it was me, they said it all,
They told me all the time
How wrong I was.
But none would come out and soothe my pain.
What I sought was nothing but answers
The reasons that were, and whatever will be.
I asked for guidance not your money or beloved,
But for all that I gave, you gave out nothing.

Yes I’m wrong, and I guess I always was.
I know I’m wrong, I knew it all along.
My mistake was to have these ‘they’ in my life,
And I fell in a trap I made unintentionally.


~k~

Just another story.

A late sunrise, dewy leaves
And a scented breeze.
Heaven for an optimist
Hope for the downtrodden
The promise of a new start
Beginning with a new day.

Just below the heaven there seemed
Another of the millions of bereaved
Lay a cottage, in layers of ruin
One look, and you pass on unaffected
But multi faceted it was like its inhabitants.
A show from above, n’ deceased from within.
Just a little farther inside,
And you could smell the decay,
Not of corpses, but of living men I say.
The beautiful items that were decorative once
Now lay ignored, half broken and turned.
Layers of dust coated everything
And yet in all, resided a bunch.
Three individuals, known as a family by the world,
But who themselves had lost the meaning of the word.
They dwelled in hurt, misery and hate.
Lost the love that once had been
And broke themselves and the bonds that seemed.
First a crack, just a speck of dust
Had now exploded and left a ruckus.

To the world they seemed like everyone else
Just another house, with just another family
All was well, and will be well.
The inmates came out smiling wide,
They seemed so perfect and always right
They came and went
They did their work,
A flourishing generation
Worth it’s blood.
Not once were the sorrows known
Not once were their smiles suspected
‘cause they were just another house
And just another family
In the jungle of the world
Where all was the same and nothing unchanged
Where every aspect had a side of it’s own
And every man with a story untold.


~k~

Survival

Litter and dirt,
Wrapped in hurt
Beauty miles away from here
N peace over the bridge
A mess they say all around me there is,
A mess they say I am.

To stinking piles and dirty rags
Blocked mind and lazy hands
Daylight of screams and mental violence
To nightfall of abuses.
Days soaked in tears and sleepless nights in mental torture.

Came the day when she thought calm would come
But now only promised misery and hurt

Escape for little time gave heaven to her
A heaven she knew she’ll miss.
She knew she experienced happiness foronce,
And knew it would never return.
She knew she’d have to come back again,
And knew it would start all over again.

In the midst of it all she held on to her memories
Memories of happiness and peace,
Which told her they would never return.
She wanted to hold on, she wanted to let go,
She wanted to stay and she wanted to run away….
But in the midst of confused love and hate
She lost herself and she lost her way
She lost her identity and yet survived
She lost everything and is yet alive…..


~k~

Last Breath

I hear a voice,
A sound, a tweak
Closer it comes
Sounds so sweet.

I open my eyes,
But their’s nothing to see.
A dim light shining through
Spreading no light to see

Cold floor beneath me,
Spreading a sensation so pure,
Felt as if I was home
N felt for nothing more.

That sweet voice sounded closer
As if traveling through the dark
Like a melody it sounded
And a treat for ears it was.

The light dimmed more,
Inviting night to take over,
And then there was nothing to see,
As the light dimmed lower.

A lost look in the eyes,
A permanent pain that resided in them
Made space for nothing else.
A mind so tangled, so knotted it was
Kept on ripping the soul apart
All it gave was just more pain,
Allow no breaks,
T’was a steady race

A shadow went by, oh that sound again!
What was it I could never guess.
Something crept closer, I could feel it nearer.
I could feel it’s breath, n I could feel it’s touch.

A sudden flash, n a quick movement,
I felt the purest sensation there could be,
Felt life ebbing away,
Flowing like the blood from my throat.
not pain but only joy crept through me,
N spread a slow smile on my lips,
As the last of breaths flew calmly by….

~k~