Love Blind

A lined faces shows extreme experience??

A heavy paunch, a hard working life??

A young soul, always shallow??

On the crust falls the shadow of your eye,

You perceive, you think whatever you like

But then is it always true?

For all you may know

The second look might change the lies.

Though mature, experienced and sweet

Was what they thought of me

Yet, a nincompoop I had always been

Senseless, stupid and gullible,

Who would run toward wherever she found love

A parasite, with a never ending hunger,

For love, care and affection

And that was where the opportunists cam,

Gave me their poison mixed with fake love

And i thanked my stars for

Blessing me with angels

But my eyes wouldn’t open

And I’ll hide in a nutshell

Too scared to face reality

And fight off my insecurities.

I wasn’t strong, just tolerant

‘cos I let the blood flow, tears flood my eyes

And maybe one day,

I’ll become a whore

And be reduced to a slave,

For what I thought was love

And let myself be betrayed.

~k~

Laugh away the tears

For a laugh, we all come forward,

The one who jeers at you

Does it with all his heart

Mean or careless fun

It makes you cry anyways,

For him it’s fun, just another reason to laugh

And you just another victim to crush.

For all, he’s the center of attention

The brave one; the fearless.

And yet for you he is mean,

The bully who’s born just to hurt you

And make you feel small for all.

You run away, sobbing

Cursing with all your might,

Wishing he would just die, and later wishing yourself to die.

Don’t waste your tears honey, nor your might

All you need to do is,

Laugh along, like the rest of us

And none will be small.

Soon you’ll see, there’s no right or wrong

It was just that insecure you, who wouldn’t let you laugh.

~k~

Misunderstood

Stuck in a world of confusion and collision
Feelings in a mess, a state of unrest
Your yes is a yes, mine is a no
My no is a yes
And I get stuck in the end

My words, like unending ropes
Try to make sense
But you turn them around, every time
And make loopholes out of them

At times it’s not me who’s confused,
It’s not always me who’s wrong
I make sense all the time,
Maybe sometimes only to myself
But then it’s you I expect to hold my hand
For I believe that you’re my friend,
And try to understand,
That it’s not always me who’s wrong
But I am, all the time, just simply
Misunderstood.

~k~

A Heartbroken Mess?

A clean page, my favorite pen
Rolled up sleeves, a comfortable chair,
I sat back and prepared myself
To write a heartbreak poem
Where my Cinderella story
Would be crushed to sand
And I’ll be left,
In a mess of tears
With slit veins, and broken heart.
Where my eyes would be empty,
My tongue in a never-ending
State of muteness,
As if paralyzed by my loss
And the pain my lover gave

A few lines later, my mind paused
My hands still,
And just then it clicked..
Was I also a heartbroken mess
Like many around and before me?
Or was I the one who will kick my pain
Aside and walk away with my head high...?

I remembered I always wanted to play soccer...I like to Kickass...

~k~

Losing it

Confused in the myth,
Of right and wrong,
A hurricane of thoughts, emotions, memories,
Make me cry..
Make me want to die...
A small action,
Triggers an earthquake in the mind
And my whole world falls apart...
The strength I have, the walls I built...
My pillars of sanity,
All shake at the base...
And threaten to fall down..
And break me yet again...
To prove that i was nothing in the end...
My life was meaningless,
And i was just a noisy pain in the neck...
Who is, was, and never will be worth anything...
Not to herself nor to anybody else..

I hold on to broken loose threads..
With the lost hope to gather myself and not fall apart...
I’m tying the threads...holding the beads..
On my last shreds of sanity..
To come back together,
Form a mass of flesh n bone,
With no feelings to hurt...n no love to crave..
Just a lifeless statue..
Kept aside to gaze.

~k~

Walking down the street
Pale skinned, shaking limbs
N with a haunted look in the eyes
Which repeatedly playback,
On the memories left behind...
Lost in the whirlwind of time,
Crushed by emotions and confusion,
The memories, which come back yet again...
To thaw at the wounds that were now left behind..
Open and bleeding...
The only difference it made..
Was to make me more oblivious to pain...


~k~

Black n White

Simmer simmer goes the fire
Come burn it all
Up and up it soars above
Come lets burn your heart

Shadow n light, black and white
Splits you up in half
Angels n demons,
One good one evil
Come choose for all you want.

Squinted eyes, dark and painted,
Smirking lips, soot like coated
Tattooed face n hands,
Deep down the physical scars
Are dried tears that wept in vain,
Pain scoured through blood
Powered by hate n sorrow
Inside a weak n frail being
Insecure and stuck deep,
A physical show, all glitter and fake
Will shatter once you poke.
Shine n’ rise, scream n’ bite
The betrayer will be your eyes.

Sparkling eyes, open wide
A natural n’ winsome smile,
Simplicity, a style,
And a pure heart to show
Innocent as ever, a open book for all
This is what you want to be
And this is what you want.

Shadow and light, black n’ white
This is all that was
Split up in half.
Angels n demons,
One good one evil,
Come choose for all you want.

~k~

Gates opened to a wall

The existence of the path is known
So is the proof.
We’ve seen it,
And prepare for our journey,
We know it,
And we plan ahead,
But there’s a gate, an entry to it,
It accepts and rejects,
Throws some about,
And swings the rest,
An attraction, a desire, dreams it provokes
A possibility to a height,
Reached never before.
You work rentlessly, speedily,
All through the way,
Every step you carefully make,
Do your utterly best,
On the last day, counting off the minutes
Just as the deadline looms
You suddenly remember
The last thread you left unsewn,
The main link, and crux of it all.
Half work done, you gave what you had
Hopes crushed, heart guilt ridden
And that was when, the doors opened...
..opened to a wall..


~k~

A smile

I felt a closeness beside me,
And a fragrance drifted past,
The sweet fragrance that I never forgot.
Felt a soft hand running through my hair,
As though feeling it’s smoothness n blessing it more
It patted my hand so softly n slowly
Felt the world had stopped all around me.
Felt surrounded by love and comfort,
Like covered with feathers of bliss.

A soft kiss on the forehead,
N a sweet voice calling my name.
I opened my eyes to see a smiling face,
I couldn’t see who it was, but
All I saw was the sweet smile
All I smelt was a delightful fragrance
And all I felt was all I wanted.

The feeling of being loved
And the belief that I was wanted
Was all that I wanted to feel at the beginning of my day
A day when I would wake up with a smile
A smile straight from my heart
A day which would be alright
And a day where I knew I’d make things right.
To wake up with the confidence
That I could do all that I wished
And to have the courage to
Make it through all the shit
To just have calm at least for once in a day.

A crash, a shout, a scream n a kick
Chaos all around, and a rush of adrenaline
A shock and a jolt to come to my senses
Swollen eyes and an aching head
A frown on the face n abusing lips

I looked around and realized it was just a dream
A dream I longed for since I was a kid
A dream, a desire, a wish for some peace
A morning when I would wake to peace
A morning when I would wake up to a smile
A morning I knew was somewhere out there
A smile that I know would come one day
And peace that I knew would come one day
A smile…all I wished for was a smile…
Just that one sweet smile in the morning
That would wake me and make things alright.

~k~