Haven't
been here since long. I guess it takes quite a bit of courage to finally write
again. It's not even surprising to me anymore that I would turn towards this
blog faster than I'd turn towards my Diary.
How sad though, ironically writing used to be an asset. I
preferred it over so many things. It was everything to me - a vent, hobby, even
a muse in fact. But since nothing lasts forever, I believe that flare died too.
I often said I only write when I was in need of a vent, and
gradually I reigned my emotions and my will to write ebbed away with it. Now
what’s left is just anger, which I wish would cool down.
Since I’m here, a question of mine needs to be put out and
although answers are not expected; it’s just a thought. Why do we need support?
Why does the wish to be ‘rescued’ arise in us? Why is there a longing for a
hug, to hold somebody’s hand, to hide your head on somebody’s chest?
Now don’t think I’m going all ‘lonely maiden’ here, no way!
Nor is this a mood swing ranting as a desperate plea for love and intimacy. No
- no! I keep myself away from such illusions.
The question here is, why do these needs arise? Why are we
as individuals not enough for ourselves? Why do we always ‘NEED’ a ‘SOMEONE’?
Now I’m not pointing towards a relationship here, the
implication here is simply towards another individual who we ‘consider’ is dear
to us - and that can be any relationship.
So, why the sudden urge for dependency?
And no, this is not typical female behavior. It’s human
nature - we always miss what we don’t have. But my focus here is, why do
certain situations form the need for dependency.
Is it natural? I believe yes, since I have seen many facing
that. How can it be controlled - No idea!
Do these feelings need to be controlled? Do they not instill further
negative feelings, like loneliness and self-pity?
Too many questions.
